Communication

As a TFA, you find yourself in an environment that is definitely "susceptible" to conflicts arising: high time and cost pressure, possibly emotionally stressful situations and the resulting stress. The fact that, as a TFA, you cannot negotiate with the patients themselves, but with the people involved, meaning that in many situations you find yourself in an emotionally charged field of tension, e.g. medical, ethical and economic issues, does not make the situation any easier. But what exactly is a conflict?

The literal meaning of "conflict" is "to clash, to fight". In a conflict, different attitudes, expectations, needs and interests, opinions, values or goals of two or more people clash. This happens all the time and is completely normal. The decisive factor in whether a conflict escalates is whether the parties involved can deal with the differences constructively or whether the positions become increasingly entrenched.

A basic distinction is made between "factual conflict" and "relationship conflict". A factual conflict is about a clearly identifiable factual issue, e.g. an appointment. In a relationship conflict, on the other hand, the focus is more on interpersonal issues, e.g. a perceived lack of appreciation or fairness. In reality, these two types of conflict can rarely be clearly separated, because if you don't get the desired appointment promptly, you may, for example, feel that you are not being taken seriously or even disadvantaged (Fig. 1). This cannot be resolved in a discussion about the appointment. This is why conflicts can usually only be dealt with at a relationship level.

Many people prefer to avoid conflicts, which is why early signals are often ignored and those affected only act when the conflict has already escalated. However, there is also a lot of good in conflict. First of all, it is just an indication that something needs to change, which might not be apparent without the visible conflict.

Tip:
A lot of energy is also tied up in conflicts. This can, if a con
constructively, it can be used to bring about positive change.

Now it's there, the conflict, and you have to act. A solution can only be found at "point of view level" ("I need an appointment as soon as possible") if someone changes their mind.

Tip:
This can happen if you give each other space to explain your motives and thus possibly obtain information that leads to more understanding.

It is not uncommon to realise that the interests are not so far apart. So talk to each other and ask questions.

In order to be able to open up to the other person and talk about feelings and needs, you need a trusting environment, which you can create with the following tips:

Timing

Choose the time to enter into a conflict dialogue - if possible - carefully. If necessary, announce the desire for such a conversation to the pet owner. Make sure there is enough time (Fig. 2). It is certainly not a good time if you or the other person are very angry or you meet "between the doors".

Self-clarification

Before you enter into a conflict dialogue, clarify things for yourself:

• What is it really about?
• What exactly annoys you about the other person's behaviour?
  • Which of your needs, which of your interests do you feel are unfulfilled as a result?
• Where do you see your own part in the conflict?
• What is your attitude to conflict - do you avoid it if possible?
• Can you handle criticism well?
• Can you express criticism constructively and appreciatively?

Knowing where you feel insecure and where you feel safe is a good prerequisite for being able to resolve a conflict well.

Observations and first-person messages
Stay true to yourself in your statements and address what you specifically perceive. Stick to the observable behaviour of the other person instead of making general statements about them as a person.

Appreciative communication
An appreciative attitude means, for example, that everyone is allowed to express their point of view, that they are allowed to speak and that they are listened to. Even if it is in the nature of a conflict that things can get a little emotional, shouting at each other and insults should not be part of it.

Formulate positively
Our subconscious does not understand negations. This is why a statement that we can process cognitively correctly can still leave us feeling uncomfortable and send the wrong message. For example, instead of "I don't want you to speak to me in this disrespectful tone", you could say "I would like us to speak to each other in a respectful and appreciative manner". A classic example that illustrates this phenomenon is: "Don't think of a pink elephant right now". Of course, the image of a pink elephant immediately appears in your mind's eye.

Neutral third person
If a conflict has been going on for a long time and it becomes clear that it cannot be resolved between the parties involved, get help from a neutral third person if necessary. This can be anyone who is not directly involved in the conflict and whose support does not lead to a "conflict of loyalties". They can moderate the conversation a little, e.g. by making sure that the points mentioned so far are adhered to and that everyone gets roughly the same amount of speaking time. In the case of escalated conflicts, which may even have legal consequences, professional support from a mediator can also be useful.